DISCIPLINE-THE KEY TO SUCCESS

An excellent “Letters To The Editor,” letter by Candace Young in the Richmond Times Dispatch about the importance of discipline hits the bull’s eye on a main stumbling block for successfully teaching our children. Discipline, like most of the important lessons of life, needs to be started early in a child’s life. Depending on the child’s maturity starting at one year old, but certainly by two is not too early.

What follows is my assessment based on my parents’ teaching and general observations. I started the first grade at six years old, in 1942. I was born in February, so I had a maturity jump on some of my classmates. Old fashioned as it was, my parents got the job done and when I walked into Miss Brizendine’s classroom, respect for my teacher and classmates, and a basic understanding of right from wrong was molded into me. Much of what’s said in this article some will say is politically incorrect, sadistic, and unfair. My psychic was not ruined, my life has been for the most part optimistic and happy, and though my parents loved me, they guided me on the straight and narrow pathway that has served me well.

A “hickory tea” or the use of a switch from the forsythia bush at our back door was applied when I failed to heed a verbal warning. Though I don’t remember them (it’s said we only recall the pleasant things!) the palm of a well-placed hand to my backside was probably applied from time to time. We were taught to say Sir, Ma’m, please and thank you, open doors for seniors and ladies (as soon as one was strong enough), and to step back and not butt in front of adults. So much for us little folks to learn, but by the first grade, all this was embedded in me. Of course there were some slip-ups. As an early stutterer, sometimes my “thank-yous” didn’t come fast enough and a friendly “say thank you” was prompted as a reinforcement. Though a belt or slap across the face was never delivered to me, others received them partly out of frustration or for something they’d done “really bad”, most “survived”, but never forgot the lesson taught that bad behavior was not to be accepted.

Since Mother was the primary disciplinarian, it fell to her to “hand” out our “corrections.” Daddy was the back up and handled most of the more serious offenses. First - a warning! No second chance. Discipline was immediately “applied” in various forms depending on the severity of the offense. “Time out” was not in my parents’ vocabulary. For example: In the summer we ate on our screened back porch. Daddy sat at the head of the table, Mama to his left. Sally, my younger sister, and I sat across from each other. A common problem was kicking each other under the table. At the first lick, a warning. If this behavior continued (and it rarely did), the second stage happened and on very rare occasions when Daddy, after a long hard day’s work on the farm, slid his chair back and quick as a flash was out the screen door, back with a switch and I was usually the loser. Sally and I from time to time did our “dance,” as a small switch was applied to our legs as a result of some unsatisfactory behavior. The switching, though more for effect than injury was usually accompanied with some words to the effect, “I told you not to do that and I expect you to act your age and behave yourself!” It ended quickly with some resulting red marks, but no lasting scars. Not soon forgotten, however.

Our teachers were respected and any infraction in school was dealt with quickly. Following a similar routine first came a warning. Serious mischief called for a march to the principal’s office, standing in the corner (later in the upper grades, standing in the middle of the auditorium, or the dreaded warning, “One more time and I’m calling your Daddy tonight!” Oh yes, our parents never questioned the teacher’s call and in most cases we got more grief when we got home.

Ms. Young properly points out that a teacher cannot teach unless “classrooms are places of calm and civility,” and further “Students must learn self-control leads to self-respect-which leads to a productive, meaningful life.” So—as parents it’s our responsibility to send our little ones off to school, at least “green-broke,” to give our teachers a fighting chance as well as save us from extra grief from the kids later.